Love Like a Mother

Who are we to determine the feelings and actions of others? We are called to love. We are called to serve. We are called to forgive. We cannot force our will upon anyone. God doesn’t do that. If we try to manipulate situations to enforce our will upon another or manipulate another’s emotions- we are like fallen angels. If I pause for a moment and look back on these past few months there has been so much loss. As the trials increased in number, I continued to seek the Holy Spirit to guide me to understanding and love; rather than despair. It’s always better to focus on grace in trying times. The holy spirit guided me to seek sanctification in Christ’s sufferings. And I seek guidance from our blessed mother, Mary. Mary was fully human. She raised our Savior from infancy to toddlerhood, early childhood, and beyond. I am nowhere near Marian, and she is my role model and my mother. I am constantly asking for her intercession and guidance. Mary, please grab my hand tightly and lead me to your son. We’re called to love and we’re called to forgive. As long as we know our identity is rooted in Christ,  there’s nothing this humanistic experience can take from us. The Holy Spirit has been particularly generous in allowing me to consistently seek love and understanding. And when I fall short and my pride gets in the way, it wreaks havoc. In seeking holy inspiration the importance of worldly attachments fall away. This ignites a fire within that leaves me humbled beyond words. I know with everything I  am, that I am wholly loved. My identity as a daughter of our Heavenly Father is the only identification I need. Everything else comes second. This love is not self-seeking, rather it’s surrendering all trials and celebrations. It’s recognizing our talents and gifts are given in order to glorify our Father. There are so many times my humanistic heart has led me to sorrow and sadness. Sometimes,  the valleys my woundedness has led me down resemble depths far deeper than any light could reach. I was seeking flashlights and lamps when I should have been seeking the light of the world. “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “” I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.””- John 8:12 

Those short-lived trials of self-pity are where the Holy Spirit shines the brightest. We are taught to never despair. Saint Gregory the Great taught us, “Judas sinned more by despairing than the Jews did by crucifying Christ”. Our hope should lie in God. When we make ourselves our own God, by choosing despair, we refuse God’s love.  The last couple of months have been trying. 🕊Cancer sucks, no child should lose their mother to cancer, all children are celebrated even when they’re only held in their mother’s womb, no mother should ever bury her child, drugs kill, suicide kills more than the one who chooses it. God chose each one of those trials to happen. At the very moments, they happened and to the very people they happened to in order to provide an opportunity to seek love; true love. And it’s finding our identity as a child of our Heavenly Father we’re set free. The struggles here on earth are slight in comparison to what we merit in Heaven. Again, Saint Gregory for the win. He teaches us, “Mercifully, God applies temporal chastisement so as not to inflict eternal punishment.” I’m humbled when I am asked to carry a cross. That might not be my initial gut reaction; humility. Those crosses without faith would have been all-consuming and unbearable. God has chosen me, a sinful broken woman, to “insert struggle” because He is using it to form my soul. It’s difficult to always thank God for the struggles. We must remember God knows we’re special and loved beyond our comprehension, and as long as we remain poor in spirit he uses the struggles to bring us closer to him. 

Today’s prayer:  Lord, I surrender to your will. I surrender all things to you. Take care of me. I ask you to carry me out of trials and tribulations when I chose pride over surrendering to your will. Lord, give me a joyful heart to love in mundane moments. I seek forgiveness for any wrongdoing.