She Keeps on Giving
I am so TIRED. I was invited to speak at a local high school here in Nashville. It is a private school, so they cover issues regarding the sanctity of life. I was asked to come in and share our story. I am not a public speaker and I was so nervous. I was only able to get an hour of sleep the night before my first day of speaking. Sharing Adalynne's story over and over brought up so many emotions and feelings that I could not "turn my brain off" and only got an hour of sleep last night too. I felt so honored to share our story. I knew what I wanted to say, but I did not know how it would be received. Other than the fact that I had also graduated from the high school where I was asked to speak, and that I was once a teenager, I didn't have anything else in common with these kids. What if they thought I was a complete tool? What if they could not relate to Adalynne's journey, and I waste their time and mine? I took the advice of a co-worker who said, "pray that God gives you the words that are in your heart." As I was getting ready to leave on the first day I prayed that God would give me the words.
Sharing our story keeps Adalynne's spirit alive. I am so proud to be Adalynne's mom. I am so proud that God gave me her, out of all the women in the world He picked me to be her mom, and what proud mom doesn't like to brag about how wonderful her kids are? And, that is what I got to do the last two days, brag about Adalynne over and over. Again, I am so honored that I was asked to share her story; our story. If, the words I have shared over the past two days impacts just one person, it helps me to see the true beauty in everything that was and is Adalynne.
I promised Houston, who is not a morning person at all, if we made it to school without any meltdowns he could get this new light saber that had just come out. It was tough and he had to be reminded a couple of times about the light saber, but he did it. After I picked Harrison up from school we went to Target to get the light saber. As I was pulling out of Target I smelled Adalynne. It was her and her scent. I started sniffing my clothes looking around to see where the smell came from and smiled. Oh, she smelled amazing. Harrison and I were picked Houston up with his reward waiting on him. Houston asked if the light saber was in the car. Harrison and I just looked at one another and smiled, and I said, "I don't know. I guess we have to go look." Houston was proud of himself and loved his new addition to the ever growing Star Wars collection. The three of us were pulling out of Houston's school when I got another faint whiff of Adalynne. I thought for sure it was my clothes, picked up the sweater I had just laid on the seat next to me thinking, I just started using a new dry cleaning place it must be their soap and smelled the sweater. Nope, it wasn't the sweater and I just smiled.
Sharing our story keeps Adalynne's spirit alive. I am so proud to be Adalynne's mom. I am so proud that God gave me her, out of all the women in the world He picked me to be her mom, and what proud mom doesn't like to brag about how wonderful her kids are? And, that is what I got to do the last two days, brag about Adalynne over and over. Again, I am so honored that I was asked to share her story; our story. If, the words I have shared over the past two days impacts just one person, it helps me to see the true beauty in everything that was and is Adalynne.
I promised Houston, who is not a morning person at all, if we made it to school without any meltdowns he could get this new light saber that had just come out. It was tough and he had to be reminded a couple of times about the light saber, but he did it. After I picked Harrison up from school we went to Target to get the light saber. As I was pulling out of Target I smelled Adalynne. It was her and her scent. I started sniffing my clothes looking around to see where the smell came from and smiled. Oh, she smelled amazing. Harrison and I were picked Houston up with his reward waiting on him. Houston asked if the light saber was in the car. Harrison and I just looked at one another and smiled, and I said, "I don't know. I guess we have to go look." Houston was proud of himself and loved his new addition to the ever growing Star Wars collection. The three of us were pulling out of Houston's school when I got another faint whiff of Adalynne. I thought for sure it was my clothes, picked up the sweater I had just laid on the seat next to me thinking, I just started using a new dry cleaning place it must be their soap and smelled the sweater. Nope, it wasn't the sweater and I just smiled.
I am reading your blog in tears and you have no idea who I am and I only know you through your blog and your story. A friend passed it on to me. How beautiful the love in your family and how faithful God is in allowing sweet Adalynne to give you so many opportunities to know she is just fine with her sweet little smell that occurs throughout your day. God knows just what you need and so does your sweet baby girl, she knows her mommies heart and knows just how to heal it. I am sure your story touched many hearts when you told Adalynne's story. What a beautiful testimony to the greatness of life and the hope that every baby brings to this world no matter how long they are a part of it.
ReplyDeleteMy kids and I will now say tomorrow morning. St. Adalynne pray for us.
I was one of the students that you spoke to on Tuesday. Your speech was amazing. I know it was extremely hard to do; I can't imagine how hard. I wanted you to know how grateful I was that you came to speak to us. I know that Adalynne is very special to you, and I know God sent her to you for a reason. I think that you are an incredibly strong person and a great role model. Not many people would see God in a child with Adalynne's condition. You are such a brave and good person, and I hope you know it. Thank you once again from me and the juniors at Father Ryan. I know that you touched my heart and the hearts of many others with her story.
ReplyDeleteI was also one of those students you spoke to, andI agree with everything above me! Often times words cannot express how you feel and this is one of those times. Thank you thank you thank you for coming. Thank you for responding to God's will in a time when it would have been so easy to just turn away.
ReplyDeleteAs well as the two above, I was one of the students you spoke to last Tuesday and I agree with what both of them said. I feel that God brings things in our lives to prove how much we are able to take and to prove how strong we are as human beings following him.
ReplyDeleteYour story was beautiful and Adalynne is so thankful to have such a beautiful family that loves and cares for her so much. Your decision to keep her is so inspiring to prove to all teens that life is precious and no life should be given up. God showed you how much he loves us by even giving Adalynne a day, but hes so loving he gave her five with her wonderful family
thank you SOOO much from the bottom of my heart you are such a strong human being and i am honored that you came to speak with us.
Adalynne is precious and Your family is adorable. Thank you for not turning from God even though the doctors told you to, its truely a miracle.
Erika, I love that you can still smell Adalynne. Surely one of the most tangible signs she is still with you! I had a hard time when I lost my grandmother and I would get whiffs of her for a long time...I think it was her way of telling me she was still there, still with me. I am sorry you were so nervous speaking...I personally think you are one of the most composed people I know, and I am sure your speech was beautiful and powerful.
ReplyDelete