Peace, Love, and Labor Pains
On Monday, I wore this heather grey maternity sweater dress I love. It is a huge tent and I love it! I wore black opaque tights under it to fight off the chill in the air. I was walking down a long hall in our office building and my thighs, held within the tights, made a swishing sound. It reminded me of a book I read as a child. I don't remember the name of the book or even what it was about, but I do remember that the kids had a teacher they called Cricket. They called her that because when she walked her tights would rub together making a swishing sound. I was in a good place and happy. It has been so much fun putting on this baby weight. I have eaten anything and everything that sounded good to me, something I never do when I am not pregnant. My mom went with me to a doctor's appointment I had today and when the nurse weighed me I said, "oh my." Later on, we were driving in my mom's car and aloud I said, "192.1." She instantly knew what I was talking about, and we started laughing hysterically. I have put on sixty-two pounds in thirty two weeks. I have eaten like an ancient Greek Goddess. I have always said that I want Adalynne to experience every type of food while she is here, other than sushi, and she has-lots of it:)
On Monday morning I started feeling a strange feeling I had not felt before. I was concerned and called my OB, who wanted me to come in. I had a flashback of the last time I had gone to the hospital with contractions. I started to have them while I was at work . I had them throughout the day but they were not regular. On my way to pick Harrison up from school, the contractions came every five to seven minutes; just mildly annoying. So, I called my OB and she wanted me to come in. That was several weeks ago and we were not ready at all. I love food and movies. Have you ever seen the movie, "Home Alone"? Ryan and I looked like the scene where the McAlisters over slept and were woken up by the door bell. They were running very late to catch a plane to Europe. Well, that is what we looked like several weeks ago. We couldn't find things that we usually know where they are, we couldn't think of the names of things, we were completely panicked. Looking back at our panicked mode makes the two of us laugh. We were completely lost in surroundings we are the most familiar with. We were not ready for Adalynne's arrival in any shape or form. The hospital and doctors were able to stop the contractions with medication. I am not a demanding person. I do not ask for much. I do, however, ask that anyone and everyone involved in Adalynne's precious arrival is kind. Kind in their actions, words, and care. It is a day that I will remember forever. A memory I know I will consciously and unconsciously bring up often. I will hold onto and remember every look, every expression, every word and smell on her birthday. The people taking care of me need to want to be there, and understand that this birth is not like any other. The memories we will have of our precious little girl may only be within four walls, and I don't want it to be tainted by a nurse who should have retired years ago. The first go around with contractions, our nurse was not compassionate. She tainted the first scare. It broke my heart. Her words and actions exhibited that she did not care that our chances of leaving with a new bundle of joy were slim to none. Wow.
The next day, after our first scare, I packed a bag for the hospital. One bag for me and Ryan and one for Adalynne. Her bag has two keepsake hand print kits in it, a blanket, and a preemie dress. It is so different from the bags I packed in the past. Harrison and Houston's bags had outfits, burping cloths, a pump, diapers, wipes, and bibs. Adalynne's is sweetly simple.
I went to the hospital this last time, Monday, not in labor, but dilated to three centimeters. I am only 32 weeks, therefore, I was put on "modified" bed rest. Ryan had to go back to work after the hospital ordeal so my mom took me home. On the ride home I told my mom, "I am at peace with Adalynne coming. I am ready whenever she is, and if that is today or tomorrow, I am at peace and ready to accept her arrival. I know it is not going to be easy but I know it will be okay." The nurse we had this time was wonderful. I wanted to put her in my pocket and take her home with me. She is what a nurse should be, kind, compassionate. Her actions and words exhibited that she wanted to be there. She was absolutely wonderful, and made my latest scare brighter by her presence. Thank you God, for her care, she was a bright spot and gift sent my way during a time I was scared; at peace but still scared.
I had another doctor's appointment today. I informed my doctor of my being at peace with the arrival of Adalynne, and I am no longer on any type of bed rest. I am thrilled, because emotionally, I want to be in a good place when I get to meet this three pound miracle. I am filled with peace, love, and the occasional labor pain :)
On Monday morning I started feeling a strange feeling I had not felt before. I was concerned and called my OB, who wanted me to come in. I had a flashback of the last time I had gone to the hospital with contractions. I started to have them while I was at work . I had them throughout the day but they were not regular. On my way to pick Harrison up from school, the contractions came every five to seven minutes; just mildly annoying. So, I called my OB and she wanted me to come in. That was several weeks ago and we were not ready at all. I love food and movies. Have you ever seen the movie, "Home Alone"? Ryan and I looked like the scene where the McAlisters over slept and were woken up by the door bell. They were running very late to catch a plane to Europe. Well, that is what we looked like several weeks ago. We couldn't find things that we usually know where they are, we couldn't think of the names of things, we were completely panicked. Looking back at our panicked mode makes the two of us laugh. We were completely lost in surroundings we are the most familiar with. We were not ready for Adalynne's arrival in any shape or form. The hospital and doctors were able to stop the contractions with medication. I am not a demanding person. I do not ask for much. I do, however, ask that anyone and everyone involved in Adalynne's precious arrival is kind. Kind in their actions, words, and care. It is a day that I will remember forever. A memory I know I will consciously and unconsciously bring up often. I will hold onto and remember every look, every expression, every word and smell on her birthday. The people taking care of me need to want to be there, and understand that this birth is not like any other. The memories we will have of our precious little girl may only be within four walls, and I don't want it to be tainted by a nurse who should have retired years ago. The first go around with contractions, our nurse was not compassionate. She tainted the first scare. It broke my heart. Her words and actions exhibited that she did not care that our chances of leaving with a new bundle of joy were slim to none. Wow.
The next day, after our first scare, I packed a bag for the hospital. One bag for me and Ryan and one for Adalynne. Her bag has two keepsake hand print kits in it, a blanket, and a preemie dress. It is so different from the bags I packed in the past. Harrison and Houston's bags had outfits, burping cloths, a pump, diapers, wipes, and bibs. Adalynne's is sweetly simple.
I went to the hospital this last time, Monday, not in labor, but dilated to three centimeters. I am only 32 weeks, therefore, I was put on "modified" bed rest. Ryan had to go back to work after the hospital ordeal so my mom took me home. On the ride home I told my mom, "I am at peace with Adalynne coming. I am ready whenever she is, and if that is today or tomorrow, I am at peace and ready to accept her arrival. I know it is not going to be easy but I know it will be okay." The nurse we had this time was wonderful. I wanted to put her in my pocket and take her home with me. She is what a nurse should be, kind, compassionate. Her actions and words exhibited that she wanted to be there. She was absolutely wonderful, and made my latest scare brighter by her presence. Thank you God, for her care, she was a bright spot and gift sent my way during a time I was scared; at peace but still scared.
I had another doctor's appointment today. I informed my doctor of my being at peace with the arrival of Adalynne, and I am no longer on any type of bed rest. I am thrilled, because emotionally, I want to be in a good place when I get to meet this three pound miracle. I am filled with peace, love, and the occasional labor pain :)
Dear Erika,
ReplyDeleteIt's been a number of weeks (before Halloween!) since I met you in your home w/ Tisha Longo. I've been keeping up with your blogs and am grateful that you are able to express so clearly and honestly what you are experiencing, AND that you are so willing to share that w/ us. The experience of peace you describe here is truly a gift from God. I'll continue to keep you and your beautiful family in my prayers. A blessed Christmas to you, Ryan, Harrison, Houston and dear Adalynne. Keep up the good work of loving your family and cherishing each day.
Annie McClure