The Necklace
For Father's Day, the boys and I got Ryan tickets to see the band, Kings of Leon! Yeah. Ryan and I started following them when we were both at the University of Tennessee and have been listening ever since. Not only is their music different, but they are also from Nashville. The tickets went on sale on a Saturday at 10:30am and by 10:42am, my transaction was complete. So, there I was, with Ryan's well deserved Father's Day gift in my hand ready to wrap the printed transaction form, when Ryan looked over my shoulder; "oh, great we are going to see Kings of Leon. Is that my Father's Day present?" The element of surprise was completely eliminated at that very moment.
Ryan and I started our family at a very young age. It is so strange that the major events in our lives that have shaped us to the people we are today can be summed up in one sentence; a long one, but still in one sentence. Ryan was not doing well in college, we started our family.......life changing, Ryan does better in college graduating with honors, we moved back to Nashville, he got a great job out of college, we added a new addition to our family, our new little addition, Houston, got sick and had to be hospitalized (very scary), four months after Houston's birth, we had an apartment fire losing everything, we bought our first condo four days after the fire! After each adversity we overcame, Ryan would say, "it is like we are being conditioned for something bigger than us". Our college years were not filled with all night fraternity parties or pulling pranks that only young adults are foolish enough to pursue or random road trips. Our "all nighters" were spent on the floor of our living room monitoring our newborn, Harrison. He had a high billirubin count that required us to closely watch his body temperature and weigh his diapers while he was imprisoned in this suitcase contraption. Our college pranks involved playing peek a boo with a baby who brought so much joy and selflessness into two young parents lives. Our road trips, that always came when Ryan had an exam or a paper due, consisted of Harrison and I going back to Nashville to visit the grandparents. Ryan went to school during the day and worked at night so I could stay home with Harrison for the first year of his life. During Ryan's senior year, I would stay with Harrison during the day while Ryan was in class, and then I worked nights as a server so Ryan could focus on finishing school strong. And he did it with honors and even had some of his college work published in a book UT still uses today. We learned at a very young age, that our life was not about us. We had been called to do something greater. As challenges were presented, we overcame them with grace and gained tremendous wisdom. inspite of our adversities, we now had two healthy babies and had recovered from a devastating fire, life was going great. Is Adalynne what we were being conditioned for?
Last Friday was the day of the Kings of Leon concert. Houston was out of school that day. I had planned for us to grab a late breakfast and see, "Where the Wild Things Are." Houston is a firecracker. No, he is a ticking timed bomb. He is fiercely independent and LOVES football. He did not carry around a bear or a blanket for security when he was a wee tot. His security blanket was a Dolphin football helmet. He wore it everywhere, except church. Everyday he has to wear "football" clothing - something a football player would wear to practice in or his Titan's uniform. Everyday he has to wear his Titan's or Ram's jersey, no matter how many spots of juice cover the front. By Friday, laundry desparately needed to be done and his football gear was in the hamper, so I mistakenly chose chocolate brown corduroy pants and a white polo shirt for him to wear. Knowing when it left my lips it wouldn't work, but I tried anyway. I said, "This is a big boy outfit." Nope, he was not having it. So, I had to do something I had avoided for a month....go in Adalynne's room. We had converted the boys playroom into Adalynne's room and I still had some of the boy's clothes stored in her closet. So, in I went to look for something a football player might wear. When I opened the door, I lost my breath. I walked over to the closet like a zombie, completed my mission and with football player-like clothes in hand, I closed the closet door. I ran the tips of my fingers along Adalynne's changing table that doubles as a dresser. Then my fingers found their way to her top drawer, I opened it and there it was, the pink knitted outfit trimmed with gray that I had planned to bring her home in along with a white fleece body coat with an impressive design that allows a seat belt to go through it without having to take the coat off the baby. "She will stay nice and warm in her car seat", I thought when I bought it. But, as I peered into the drawer, it was like the tiny pink rose buds that lined the inside of the coat were staring back at me. I silently closed the drawer, off to start my day with Mr. Houston. We had a great day together. He is such a joy - tantrums, sticky football jerseys and all.
Later that evening, after the boys had gone to their Big Daddy's house for the night, I was getting ready. With the boys out of the house, I let myself go there. The dark place in my mind where I store the "what ifs" and "should have beens". That was suppose to be Adalynne's take me home outfit. She was suppose to wear that coat because it is going to be cold in February and with this incredible coat, we don't have to bother her by taking it on and off when she gets into her car seat because of the hole sewn into it for the buckle. Ryan kept asking me what was wrong, but I said nothing because I didn't want to ruin this evening, his evening, that we both had been looking forward to since Father's Day. And then it happened, my pearl necklace broke. It is older than me, and I just had it restrung and the clasp fixed not even six months ago. It was given to me on my wedding day along with a set of pearl earrings under one condition; I pass it along to my daughter on her wedding day. "Oh no, Adalynne's necklace broke," I whispered to myself. This was suppose to be Adalynne's necklace on her wedding day. I started sobbing uncontrollably. I knew the necklace could be fixed, but that Adalynne couldn't. Ryan, trying to comfort his hysterical wife, said, "It was never in her plans to get married." "Yeah, but it was in mine," I said between sobs. And, for the third time since learning our little girl is sick, I selfishly broke down.
On Sunday, after church, we met with our priest, who performed the anointing of the sick for Adalynne. Hearing the priest's prayers, and having the oil placed on my head and hands, gave me peace. This little girl gets to surpass all this, I thought, and go play with the angels and saints in heaven. Tears were running down my cheeks when Harrison asked, "Why do you have tears in your eyes, Mom?" Not, "Why are you crying?" My little scientist wanted to know why I had tears in my eyes. Smiling through the tears I said, "Because I am worried about the baby." It came out just like we had practiced with his pediatrician. "On days when you are sad or if they see you cry, just tell him you are worried about the baby," his doctor had said. With that, Adalynne was anointed.
Ryan and I started our family at a very young age. It is so strange that the major events in our lives that have shaped us to the people we are today can be summed up in one sentence; a long one, but still in one sentence. Ryan was not doing well in college, we started our family.......life changing, Ryan does better in college graduating with honors, we moved back to Nashville, he got a great job out of college, we added a new addition to our family, our new little addition, Houston, got sick and had to be hospitalized (very scary), four months after Houston's birth, we had an apartment fire losing everything, we bought our first condo four days after the fire! After each adversity we overcame, Ryan would say, "it is like we are being conditioned for something bigger than us". Our college years were not filled with all night fraternity parties or pulling pranks that only young adults are foolish enough to pursue or random road trips. Our "all nighters" were spent on the floor of our living room monitoring our newborn, Harrison. He had a high billirubin count that required us to closely watch his body temperature and weigh his diapers while he was imprisoned in this suitcase contraption. Our college pranks involved playing peek a boo with a baby who brought so much joy and selflessness into two young parents lives. Our road trips, that always came when Ryan had an exam or a paper due, consisted of Harrison and I going back to Nashville to visit the grandparents. Ryan went to school during the day and worked at night so I could stay home with Harrison for the first year of his life. During Ryan's senior year, I would stay with Harrison during the day while Ryan was in class, and then I worked nights as a server so Ryan could focus on finishing school strong. And he did it with honors and even had some of his college work published in a book UT still uses today. We learned at a very young age, that our life was not about us. We had been called to do something greater. As challenges were presented, we overcame them with grace and gained tremendous wisdom. inspite of our adversities, we now had two healthy babies and had recovered from a devastating fire, life was going great. Is Adalynne what we were being conditioned for?
Last Friday was the day of the Kings of Leon concert. Houston was out of school that day. I had planned for us to grab a late breakfast and see, "Where the Wild Things Are." Houston is a firecracker. No, he is a ticking timed bomb. He is fiercely independent and LOVES football. He did not carry around a bear or a blanket for security when he was a wee tot. His security blanket was a Dolphin football helmet. He wore it everywhere, except church. Everyday he has to wear "football" clothing - something a football player would wear to practice in or his Titan's uniform. Everyday he has to wear his Titan's or Ram's jersey, no matter how many spots of juice cover the front. By Friday, laundry desparately needed to be done and his football gear was in the hamper, so I mistakenly chose chocolate brown corduroy pants and a white polo shirt for him to wear. Knowing when it left my lips it wouldn't work, but I tried anyway. I said, "This is a big boy outfit." Nope, he was not having it. So, I had to do something I had avoided for a month....go in Adalynne's room. We had converted the boys playroom into Adalynne's room and I still had some of the boy's clothes stored in her closet. So, in I went to look for something a football player might wear. When I opened the door, I lost my breath. I walked over to the closet like a zombie, completed my mission and with football player-like clothes in hand, I closed the closet door. I ran the tips of my fingers along Adalynne's changing table that doubles as a dresser. Then my fingers found their way to her top drawer, I opened it and there it was, the pink knitted outfit trimmed with gray that I had planned to bring her home in along with a white fleece body coat with an impressive design that allows a seat belt to go through it without having to take the coat off the baby. "She will stay nice and warm in her car seat", I thought when I bought it. But, as I peered into the drawer, it was like the tiny pink rose buds that lined the inside of the coat were staring back at me. I silently closed the drawer, off to start my day with Mr. Houston. We had a great day together. He is such a joy - tantrums, sticky football jerseys and all.
Later that evening, after the boys had gone to their Big Daddy's house for the night, I was getting ready. With the boys out of the house, I let myself go there. The dark place in my mind where I store the "what ifs" and "should have beens". That was suppose to be Adalynne's take me home outfit. She was suppose to wear that coat because it is going to be cold in February and with this incredible coat, we don't have to bother her by taking it on and off when she gets into her car seat because of the hole sewn into it for the buckle. Ryan kept asking me what was wrong, but I said nothing because I didn't want to ruin this evening, his evening, that we both had been looking forward to since Father's Day. And then it happened, my pearl necklace broke. It is older than me, and I just had it restrung and the clasp fixed not even six months ago. It was given to me on my wedding day along with a set of pearl earrings under one condition; I pass it along to my daughter on her wedding day. "Oh no, Adalynne's necklace broke," I whispered to myself. This was suppose to be Adalynne's necklace on her wedding day. I started sobbing uncontrollably. I knew the necklace could be fixed, but that Adalynne couldn't. Ryan, trying to comfort his hysterical wife, said, "It was never in her plans to get married." "Yeah, but it was in mine," I said between sobs. And, for the third time since learning our little girl is sick, I selfishly broke down.
On Sunday, after church, we met with our priest, who performed the anointing of the sick for Adalynne. Hearing the priest's prayers, and having the oil placed on my head and hands, gave me peace. This little girl gets to surpass all this, I thought, and go play with the angels and saints in heaven. Tears were running down my cheeks when Harrison asked, "Why do you have tears in your eyes, Mom?" Not, "Why are you crying?" My little scientist wanted to know why I had tears in my eyes. Smiling through the tears I said, "Because I am worried about the baby." It came out just like we had practiced with his pediatrician. "On days when you are sad or if they see you cry, just tell him you are worried about the baby," his doctor had said. With that, Adalynne was anointed.
Comments
Post a Comment